classic video game monday, video games

Classic Video Game Monday: Zero Wing

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There is a very good chance you haven’t heard of this game.

…but there is a very good chance that you have heard of what made this game famous:

Ah yes, All Your Base. The subject of a now-legendary flash animation, this is one of the earliest internet memes I can think of– early enough that “All your base are belong to us” was my “Favorite Saying” in my senior yearbook back in high school, and folks, that was a long time ago. Someday in the future, the early-2000s are going to make a fashion comeback and it’s going to happen with first-gen iPods and All Your Base T-shirts.

Little known secret, though: This game is really good. And really hard.

It’s a scrolling-shooter akin to Gradius, which means it’s basically like Robot Unicorn Attack, except you have powerups and lasers, and stuff is trying to kill you.

The onslaught of enemies is neverending and on top of that, you have to deal with obstacles like walls with tiny spaces that you have to squeeze through at just the right moment. This game is seriously difficult. I don’t think I’ve ever beaten the first stage. And yet I played it a ton anyway, because it was still fun.

Other things about Zero Wing that you may not have known:

  • The music is fantastic. Especially from the Sega Genesis version. Stroll through some of the stuff on the sidebar; it’ll give you Mega Man 2 flashbacks. It’s that good. Did I mention the first song was called “Open Your Eyes”? Told you it was like Robot Unicorn Attack.
  • The story, according to the original Japanese, is pretty hardcore:
    Engineer: It appears that someone has planted explosives.
    Radio Operator: The main screen is receiving a visual.
    CATS: Thanks to the help of our forces, your bases are all under our control. Make the most of these last moments of your lives…
    Man. CATS is a smooth-talkin’ operator, no?
  • All Your Base has gotten people arrested. No, really.

In short, if you can find this game, you should play it, at the very least for historical significance, but mostly because it’s simply a good game. Be warned, though– it’s often called “Contra Hard” for a reason.

…yeah I dunno what’s up with the giant California Raisin at the end. Really, I don’t.

3 thoughts on “Classic Video Game Monday: Zero Wing”

  1. I was not much of a sidescrolling shooter type. Hence, I never got into Contra (difficulty aside), but I was rather fond of top-down types. As a NESser growing up, I was raised on Galaga and Spy Hunter. The first time I played Raiden at an arcade, it was glorious. I don’t think I was any older than 7 or 8 when I laid my hands on it for the first time.

    So yeah, top-down ftw.

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